i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
