Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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