Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
