Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
