then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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