I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
