even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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