Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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