I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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