YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
