and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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