I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
