Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
