My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
