Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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