I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
