I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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