Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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