What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
