She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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