Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Randomize
