Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
