Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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