Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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