we're blogging at a bar
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
false alarm. still invincible.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
