Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
