**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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