brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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