if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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