After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We were destined to go to rehab together
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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