He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
