fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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