i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
