im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i came on her dog
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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