After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
