I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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