I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
