Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
