so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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