watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
