Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
