dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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