you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
