did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
