Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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