so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
