i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
