i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
