he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
