He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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