we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
