He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
