sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You made out with two different species that night
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
